Change

Ok. this is it. I do not like me. Well, I do not like the way I look. I have a cute haircut, I have spiffy glasses and some fun shoes....but this does not hide what I don't like. In the last 2 weeks I have had 2 people ask me "Are pregnant again" or "how far along are you?" First off I know that I am fat. I know that I am short so this makes me look even fatter. And if you have seen me at least once a week for the last three months, why would you suddenly ask me if I am pregnant? I am not getting fatter (though I am not getting thinner either.) I have lost 13 pounds since Christmas but it isn't the fat the you can visually see a change.

I have to house sit for a friend while they are away for three weeks. I started yesterday. So last Monday I bought a bike and a little kiddie trailer. It is 3 miles total ride to go there, water dogs, and ride back. With kids needing me to stop to get them water and what not, it takes about an hour. I did it on Tuesday and today I rode to a friend's house (2.5 miles) to give her some money I owed for babysitting. If in the very least do this 3x a week, heat and all, I know I will be different. If not skinnier, at least feel better about me.

My goal is to be 20lbs lighter before the middle of September when Joe and I "might" see Carter. Or if we are unable to do that, be different before October which is Coolidge's homecoming where I play in the high school band with a bunch of fellow band geeks. I just want to look or feel the way I used to when I was in College. I wasn't super thin but I was a lot physically happier. I need to do this.....for once I need to follow through with something